contributed by Amy McDougall (mom to Noelle, 21)
Our daughter has always been an independent spirit: bright, organized, willing to advocate for herself, and preferring to decide between choices. However, she also struggles greatly with hyperphagia, which can completely “short-circuit” her logical problem-solving skills. We certainly dreamed of a future in which a medication would be available to treat the unrelenting hunger and where she could be fully independent. We also had significant concerns about the toll on her mental health and our family relationships should we have her grow up believing that she could be fully on her own, then need to put restrictions in place as she got older. From a young age, we chose to work toward “interdependence”, which we define as having the individual with PWS actively participate in making informed decisions about their future; however, being reliant on relational interactions with a guardian for ultimate decision-making responsibility. This way of thinking allowed us to have open discussions with our daughter about her needs while also acknowledging that she had her own thoughts, feelings, and opinions. These discussions helped her learn to speak up for herself and advocate appropriately. There were certainly difficult discussions when she wanted to do the things that her typical peers were doing; however, we had built trust over the years, and (after some tears and processing) she was able to acknowledge that our goal was to keep her safe, even if she might not like the decision.
Our daughter currently lives with us and prefers to do so. She is involved in volunteering in our community with the support of a community habilitation worker (sorting donations for a local shelter and serving as a teaching assistant at a local homeschool coop and school). She would like to attend some college classes in the future, should we be able to coordinate with her community hab worker to accompany her. Through these activities, she continues to build the skills that would help her to eventually be fully independent should treatment for hyperphagia ever become available. In the meantime, she feels secure with the structures and supports that are in place to keep her safe and loves knowing that she has a voice in our family dynamic.
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